Hello Again,
I am going to share some support, thoughts and resources here for our own well being because that is super important. The things listed here help with stress, anxiety, depression and improve your mental health.
My number one go to for helping myself was and still is going to SMART Recovery meetings. There is another group I used to go to for over a year regarding Substance Abuse and Processing Disorders where I heard from other parents share their idea’s, hope, struggles and successes. That is Dave and Tina’s meetings where cross talk is encouraged as it is in SMART Recovery. I genuinely feel they both bring a great deal of knowledge and hope to any situation that you might be dealing with at this current time.
Dave and Tina have their own personal website and meetings. I encourage you to check out their website. The name of their website is Alternat+ves. Dave and Tina’s ITC meetings are free, everyone is welcome. It is geared heavily for Parents or people in the Care Taker role as a Parent. They are both very familiar with adoption in families.
About SMART Recovery
SMART Recovery is a fresh approach to addiction recovery. SMART stands for Self Management And Recovery Training.
Being in a close relationship with someone struggling with addiction or problematic behaviors is highly stressful. SMART Recovery Family & Friends hopes to help you develop effective coping strategies and communication skills as you seek to maintain some balance in your life. The SMART Family & Friends support meetings are free, online and in-person.
I HIGHLY SUGGEST going to the Family And Friend Tool Time meeting. It is a wonderful compliment to all the SMART Recovery Family and Friends meetings. It is eye opening and quite life changing if you give it a chance.
Here is the Tool Time meeting at this link https://meetings.smartrecovery.org/meetings/7192/
This is the SMART Recovery website, for general information. Please try at least 6 meetings to see if SMART Recovery can be a good t for you. Here is the link to find a SMART Recovery meeting https://smartrecovery.org/what-is-smart-recovery
The Center for Motivation and Change in NYC
The Center for Motivation and Change website has superb articles, videos and excellent information written by Doctors. The SMART Recovery Program has some of it’s influences taken from the ITC model. The Center for Motivation and Change ideas work excellent along side SMART Recovery meetings. It is a wonderful compliment to each other.
Beyond Addiction Workbook for Family and Friends has Evidence-Based Skills to Help a Loved One Make Positive Change. From Dr. Carrie Wilkens, Dr. Jeff Foote, and Dr. Ken Carpenter (authors of Beyond Addiction), this workbook provides a thorough, compassionate guide through the Invitation to Change Approach (ITC), a helping model based in science and compassion that is built to teach both family members and professionals the most effective strategies for supporting someone who is struggling with substance use and change. Here is the link for that Workbook: https://beyondaddictionworkbook.com/
How I used this book; I did a little bit at a time and some days nothing because it was just too hard. Be kind to yourself and meet yourself where your at. Only do what you can do right now at this very moment and if you don’t have the will to do more, stop and come back to it later. Stopping and honoring yourself is a form of self-care.
Be kind to yourself you are going through a tough time. Just as kind as you would be to your best friend or pet.
Here is the link for all of the books from the Center from Motivation and Change, https://cmcffc.org/resources/books-and-workbooks.
My #1 go to book is Beyond Addiction; How Science and Kindness Help People Change, this book offers a compassionate, evidence-based approach for families and friends in a close relationship with someone struggling with addiction or problematic behaviors. It moves away from “tough love” and confrontation, instead it teaches skills like positive reinforcement, motivational strategies, and how to make change appealing through kindness and collaboration. The book provides practical advice, exercises, and some guidance on navigating treatment options, empowering families to support change without waiting for “rock bottom”. Here is my blog post on that book, https://tappingnow.com/2023/12/11/thinking-about-buying-a-gift-for-yourself/
Meetings around the globe
Sometimes we need to try something different or maybe see things in a new way.
SMART Recovery USA – Cassandra’s #1 Favorite
https://smartrecovery.org/meeting
SMART Recovery International
https://www.smartrecoveryinternational.org
Partnership to End Addiction
https://drugfree.org/
Moderation.org
https://moderation.org/
Life Ring
https://lifering.org/online-meetings/
Recovery Dharma
https://www.recoverydharma.online/
Alateen
https://al-anon.org/newcomers/teen-corner-alateen/
Cassandra’s additional thoughts…
NHS ve steps to well-being (because we matter too)
https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/self-help/guides-tools-and-activities/five-steps-to-mental-wellbeing/
Which order to reading items first?
Buy The SMART Recovery Family & Friends Handbook first. My thoughts on it? It is a good quick and easier read then other handbooks in my experience because it has short easy chapters, clear information and steps you can take AND DO FOR YOURSELF right away. Even at 2 in Cassandra’s additional thoughts..the morning! You can flip through the book for some ideas on how to handle something that just came up. YOU CAN USE this book even if you do not want to attend any SMART Recovery Family and Friends Meetings. That’s how good it is, https://shop.smartrecovery.org/products/smart-family-friends-handbook-2nd-ed.
Then purchase Beyond Addiction: How Science and Kindness Help People Change this is my #1 favorite book. Buy this second though unless you’re a fast reader. Two words, “life changing” this book was for me! Two reasons that come to mind right away is, the book helps answer the question that ‘you really are not crazy’ and the second thing is that how you are feeling about ‘wanting to keep a connection with your Loved One’ is not wrong!! It is a longer read and really, really well worth it. This book also comes in a Nook and audio version. I have the book and the audio version. I still use both to this day. It was through this book I found the SMART Recovery Family and Friends Meetings! That has been Life Saving for me. This book address all family members.
After that if you have time and want to read something else, I highly suggest the book Get Your Loved One Sober: Alternatives to Nagging, Pleading, and Threatening.
My thoughts on it? This is an excellent book also. It has a different perspective on Addiction. It is not the all or nothing ideas that are usually put forward and tossed around. This book comes from a compassionate way of being around your Loved Ones and DOES NOT use the ‘Rock Bottom’ mentality. It is refreshing.
Then the next reading material to purchase is the SMART Recovery 4 Point Program Handbook. My thoughts on this; It will give us ideas on how we can better assist our Loved Ones with concrete ideas of what is working in the year 2026, for our Loved Ones who might be struggling with Behaviors that concern us. Buy this book even if your loved One does not want to stop engaging in their Behavior of Concern. This Recovery Handbook was published May 2025. Here is the link for that workbook from SMART Recovery USA Store: https://shop.smartrecovery.org/products/4-point-program-handbook-4th-ed-english
Not a book: Lastly, I do suggest taking the SMART Recovery Facilitator Trainings which are open to anyone. There are two. My thoughts on this; they are affordable, self paced and we can always learn a different way of doing something. I found both trainings super helpful. Here is the link for both trainings: https://learn.smartrecovery.org/
I have added these additional sites just for some education about questions you might have pertaining to specific drugs. I am not capable of educating you on this sensitive topic. These three sites are very helpful to inform yourself, learn about drug names, nicknames of drugs, and usage.
Partnership to End Addiction
https://drugfree.org/drugs/
Honest information about drugs “FRANK”
https://www.talktofrank.com/
Drug Facts – Alcohol and Drug Foundation
https://adf.org.au/drug-facts/
Just need someone to listen? Feel like your on shaky ground?
Make the call…
If you need to talk, the 988 Lifeline is here.
At the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, we understand that life’s challenges can sometimes be difficult. Whether you’re facing mental health struggles, emotional distress, alcohol or drug use concerns, or just need someone to talk to, our caring counselors are here for you. You are not alone.
The 988 Lifeline is available 24/7/365. Your conversations are free and confidential.
https://988lifeline.org/help-yourself/for-deaf-hard-of-hearing/
Last but not least try to incorporate Tapping (Emotional Freedom Technique) into your life because it helps any situation that you are in no matter how bad it may be in that moment. Tapping helps calm you down right on the spot. Do you want to learn more about how Tapping or Cassandra’s Coaching can help you with your emotional roller coaster of life, give me a call @ 516-987-3756 or set up an appointment HERE.
Wow that is some good information in one place. That is exactly what I always wanted to do. To make it easier for families to get some information with different options and idea’s in one place. I have accomplished that here. This page means a great deal to me and I so hope you found it helpful. Save this page so that you can refer back to it as often as you’d like.
Where or how would I start, if I were looking for Family Addiction Support for myself regarding someone I loved?
I would…
Number 1, I would attend as many SMART Recovery Family & Friends meetings. As soon as possible. MAKE the time to t the meetings into my schedule for the first several weeks. Like a mandatory appointment with myself and keep it for at least 2 months. That is exactly what I did when I found SMART Recovery Family & Friends and my life has changed for the better. It was not easy at first, I will say IT WAS WELL WORTH IT!!!
Right after that I would find a person to work with who is not going to shake their head at you, dismiss you, or pressure you to do things that do not feel right to you and your unique set of circumstances. I suggest looking for a hopeful environment where you are being heard, able to freely express feelings and how you are handling things with no judgement!
To have someone meet you where you’re at. To support you, really hear what your saying about what you want to do or not want to do. Make choices that feel right for you and your family with no black and white thinking. For example a CRAFT Counselor, Therapist, Support Groups and or a Coach.
That is where I come in! I am a Family Support Coach, a Tapping Life Coach and a SMART Recovery Family & Friends Facilitator. I assist running two National SMART Recovery Family & Friends meetings and a Local SMART Recovery Family and Friends meeting. I am ITC trained and I Facilitate an ITC 15 week workshop that has been running since April 2024 through the CMC Foundation in NYC, a Peer Coach Volunteer trained by the Partnership To find Addiction and CRAFT Informed trained. I am also a human being who has experienced this type of situation myself. With some sessions we can get a whole lot accomplished.
Why not give Coaching with Cassandra a try?
Give me a call @ 516-987-3756 or set up an appointment here to set up a free of charge 30 minute call and lets see how we can work together.
Wishing you well,
Cassandra
